| Stories | | POETRY | | MESSAGE | | FACEBOOK | | TWITTER | | ME |

A Haiku For Every Girl I’ve Ever Slept With

1. The haiku form is

Of an appropriate length

To describe this fuck

2. When I handcuffed you

It was so insanely hot

I came in my jeans

3. We used to have sex

So we didn’t have to talk

Now we do neither

4. We had a threesome

You, me and my depression

Depression fucks hard

5. I shouted my love

From the rooftops before I

Very nearly jumped

6. You didn’t like me

But you did like my writing

I guess that’s enough

7. Entangled, twitching

We came down as cenotaphs

Numb with limbless minds

8. Tried your fantasy

and pretended to rape you.

It felt a bit forced.

9. You learned of my pain

And said you’d try to fix me

That wasn’t your job

10. You weren’t attractive

But alcohol and codeine

Made a mess of me

11. You liked to be choked

You stuffed animals for fun

You were just my type

12. Halfway through you sobbed

Said you were touched as a child

I stopped and held you

13. 13 is bad luck

But three’s a lucky number

14 would agree

14. It wasn’t awkward

It was just double the fun

That’s arithmitic

15. Puked everywhere

And then fell into a bush

You still wanted me

16. Our contrasting skin

Meant some passersby would stare

And we just loved it

17. You were a model

Who found me through my writing

Thankyou, internet

18. We made a sex tape

I hope I find it before

My family does

19. I whipped you too hard

Inadvertently drew blood

Apologised quick

20. Cars drove by as I

Fingered you at a bus stop

(A romantic date)

21. It’s strange to think it

But before you miscarried

Was I a father?

22. We both bared it all

Online for our followers

In different ways

23. “You don’t care” you said

So I pretended to cry

And then we had sex

24. You liked taking charge

And I went along with it

Out of laziness

25. I tried to whip you

Then I hit my testicles

It ruined the mood

26. It took twenty five

Twenty five misconnections

Before I found you

(Source: benedictsmith)

  1. sea-la-viee reblogged this from thetatiana
  2. sexymommaballs reblogged this from kingofwesteros
  3. thetatiana reblogged this from benedictsmith
  4. theyarethatwhichweknow reblogged this from kingofwesteros
  5. oooohgurl reblogged this from kingofwesteros
  6. beautifulpeoplelost reblogged this from herondalectable
  7. coffeedme reblogged this from gentle-sighs
  8. troubled-soulx reblogged this from kingofwesteros
  9. speakthroughpaint reblogged this from madgesundersee
  10. inspirationsinseconds reblogged this from bookedforever
  11. bookedforever reblogged this from madgesundersee
  12. nerdymexican reblogged this from kingofwesteros
  13. viixxin reblogged this from kingofwesteros
  14. taylorblogsthings reblogged this from kingofwesteros
  15. thedrunkenvictor reblogged this from kingofwesteros
  16. herondalectable reblogged this from kingofwesteros
  17. gettschmidtfaced reblogged this from kingofwesteros